Today on the EPPdF Cooking Channel

How To Cook a Pirata

"Mom!?!   We're hungry!"
How 'bout a tuna casserole?
"Ewwww...tuna casserole?  Agaaiinnn!?!"
I know; how's about a meatloaf?
"But mom!?!  We don't want the same ol', same ol'!  We want something different!  Something nutritous AND delicious!!!"

Sound familiar?  Having a tough time with the "diners" in your home?
Need something fresh and exciting that will still provide a balanced and healthy meal for your family?

Try Pirata!!!           

Pirata!!  It's what's for dinner!!

                                                                                  The Average Pirata contains:

Nutritional break down of "Pirata"

 Beer


Thoughts about boobs


Bad attitude, cursing, avoiding work


more beer










First:  Getting your Pirata 

Getting your pirata should be easy.  While their contrary and cantankerous nature makes them difficult to approach, catching your pirata requires no more effort than leaving a fresh, cold Guinness in a snare trap and yelling, "Whose beer is this?"

A cheap but effective trick.

If that fails, remember:  Boobs.

Scrub your Pirata before starting - these are filthy critters that are known to go weeks or even months without bathing, shaving, showering, or even changing clothes.

NEVER, EVER attempt to brine your Pirata:  they are plenty salty enough already.

Plucking is recommended, but optional.

Once you have your pirata, add these items together

1.  West Texas heat   +106 degrees

2.  Cloud cover, tall trees, buildings, occasion bridge over hang - 0

3.  Heat Index at 2:00 PM -  Same as surface of the sun

4.  Distance of attempted ride - 500 miles

5.  Method of transport - completely unairconditioned Harley   Davidson Motorcycle

6.  Number of hours broiling in sun on the side of Interstate 10 - 2 1/2 hours

7.  Turn frequently

Editor's note:  Alert and hungry reader, Sharon, sent in her favorite Pirata recipe:

Skewered and roasted pirata and - not only salty but crusty too?!!!
Serve me up a plate of that please!



Thanks, Sharon!  That DOES sound delicious.  What about adding sliced tomatoes and pineapples?


Have a favorite Pirata recipe?
Send it in to share with the EPPdF readers!

Dead.

Kaput.

Fin.

"All a'da' sudden, they was a big ablosion."




A-Pop's Towing:  My heroes!

If you're ever in or around the Ft. Stockton, TX vacinity, and you've decided to break down in the middle of the desert (Do Not Do This!  I cannot emphasize this enough!) Call A-Pop's.

432-336-2765/432-290-6653


Also, Big Dog (not used in a sartorial sense here) of Big Dog's Diesel & Tire Repair was kind enough to stop and give me Gatorade and water and to give me A-Pop's number.  Nice guy:  Again, if you have made the decision to kill your particular mode of transportation somewhere around 40 miles east of Ft. Stockton ( Can Not Caution Against This Enough) give Big Dog a shout at 432-940-0716. 

That is not going to look good at the pool.

Ed. Note:
Re-heating your pirata for left-overs is not recommended.
They are known to sour and cause extreme and loud yelling and cursing while standing at the intersection 1053 N and 329 E/W.

 What I felt like yesterday after another 2 hours in the west Texas sun.