I saw this in a dream

Saturday night I walked down to Jackson Square to get a tarot reading.  On the back side of the park there's a row of palmists, psychics, tarot readers, and an entire menagerie of all sorts of strange, wonderful, and smelly people wearing dashikis, beads, dreads, WAY too many fake animal fangs on strings, nose piercings, eye-brow piercings, lip piercings, forehead piercings, and one guy who had pierced his frenulum with a fake animal claw:  it's exactly like home.
I strode confidently into their midst; comfortable and secure in the knowledge that, although soon I would be lighter by exactly $20, it would very likely result in half a decent story.  I picked the least flashy/bedazzled of the scammers, a heavy set man in his 40's named Oscar.  He had an agreeable and pleasant rap, and again I thought, "Well at least he's going to put some effort and flare into his rap while he reaches into my pocket for that sawbuck."
(btw, if you've ever read Charles Dickens, and wondered what exactly became of all of those urchins living tough on the streets, rest assured, they are in New Orleans boosting car stereos and harrassing tourists in Jackson Square;  they send their love.)(And most of them haven't bathed since the original pressing of Bleak House.)

Oscar gave me the full, Irish, Celtic Tarot introduction, asked me to clear my mind (done and did), then instructed me to pick one card from the 3 he had just laid face down on the table.
He jumped back a little and his eyes widened when I told him my card wasn't on the table and I'd like to see the next 3 if he didn't mind.  Clearly, he had not bargained for such a tough customer.
He paused for a second, regained his special tourist smile, and then put another 3 cards face down on the table.  Without touching the cards or peeking at them I told him, "My card is on top."

With a little Jackson Square flourish, he picked up this card:

 "Ahhh, The Chariot card.  You are on a journey my friend."
Nooooo Shit!?!
"But you must know where you want to go;  wandering without purpose is not helpful and will land you in trouble."
It's like you're inside my head creepy, overweight, fake spiritualist dude!!!  GET OUT OF THERE!!!
 "And you must be prepared, be aware, have a clear destination in mind, and be safe.  Follow your intuition."

"Are you ready for the next card?"
Hit me brother.

3 cards, face down on the table again.
"My card is on the bottom."

"Interesting.  First, I see that you are on a journey.  Now, I see the Magician appears to tell you to follow your intuition.  The Magician tells you to follow your dreams, don't be distracted, get busy creating your own world.   You are an artist, a creative being, and must follow your own inner voice to find your happiness."
SHUT UP!?!  Oh, no you dinit!!!
"But before you can create your own world you must know exactly what you want it to look like. Be careful what you ask for, you may get it.  And, if you're not careful, you will end up with the wrong thing."
Ahhh, so you're divorced too.

"Everything clear so far?  Good time for your last card."
3 cards go face down on the table.

"Ahhhh, the crossed swords tell me that you need to practice patience, my friend."
Right NOW!?!  Jeezus-f'ing Christ-on-a-stick!!!   Just finish the reading.
"If you are patient, if you are prepared, if you are judicious in your choices, your journey will go well and you will create your own space of happiness my friend, but you must be a little more patient to make sure that you ask the right questions, get the best information, make the right choices."
I'm so out of here.
"And, thus concludes your reading.  If you don't have any questions, I would be happy to accept a donation......"