Since it's a rainy Monday here in sunny downtown Atlanta, I thought I would repost a blog from the trip last year.
Loyal readers may recall that my first couple weeks on the road were spent under near hurricane conditions.
Exactly the type of weather you want when traveling via motorcycle.
In just one day, during my ride from New Orleans to Houston, I rode thru 6 thunderstorms.
Glorious.

Enjoy.


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Tuesday, June 19, 2012

In the Sioux Nation I am known as Throwing Bull.

I should've become a medicine man.

It seems at this point that my powers to make it rain are indisputable.
I have brought Cat. 3 type weather to every city that I've visited so far.
Poor Orange Beach (Alabama) was nearly swept out to sea when, in a fit of annoyance over lost Internets, I cursed the local telecoms to be 

"waterboarded until such time that they be drowned in an ocean of their own incompetence".

3 days later it was still raining.

Having found a decent Guinness in NOLA, they suffered a lesser fate. 

(Although, they desperately need to work on their double pour.)
I took pity on them since they are only recently recovered from Katrina and decided to only utter the Gypsy Spell for "city that smells poorly and should be made to walk around in soggy shoes for several days".

I must've had a bad dream that I can't recall because today it is a wild monsoon of wind and rain in Houston. 

And I really like Houston.

It's beautiful here. 

At least the parts I can see thru the squall that has descended on the town.

My bad. 

Soooooorrrryyyyyy!

Out of 13 days on the road, it has rained 8 of them. 

If my math is correct that's nearly 95%.
I wonder if somewhere between the official Harley-Davidson lawn darts and the billet aluminum Harley-Davidson diaphragms (Motto: we want your bitch to be COMPLETELY safe) I can find a set of inflatable pontoons for forced water crossings(?)

Beware San Antonio; get out your ponchos and muck-lucks and prepare for the arrival of 

El Pinche Pirata del Fuego!!!
I'm coming for you.

And I'm bringing hell with me.
(insert evil laugh)


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Monday June 18th, 2012

Yesterday, Cousin Anne met me at The Black Labrador Pub off Montrose. 

Or was it off Richmond in the Montrose district? 

Either way, great setting underneath the oak trees.
After closely examining The Black Lab's methodology as it pertains to the application of Irish alcoholic products being rendered into open glass containers, I followed her back to the house to visit with Cousin Hubby Jerry and "the kids". 

We had a great dinner of local Mexican take out and Cousin Anne's margaritas while we caught up on the family goings on.

I don't think that I've ever met 2 more kind, generous, and decent people than Cousin Anne and Cousin Hubby Jerry.
Which is why:

A.) I declined their gracious invitation to stay in the spare room of their home.
     What if EPPdF has a sudden fit of pillaging and burning!?! 

     These are good people; they don't deserve that!! 

     No Sir!! 

     This Will Not Stand!
     (All raping officially banned under the Piratas Local 238 since 1976)

and,

2.) Is how you know that we do not share the same DNA. 

     Next to their example of good-nature, friendliness, and positivity, EPPdF felt a little crass and      vulgar.
     (Characteristics not entirely unbecoming of Los Piratas).

But these are wholesome and virtuous people.
When "the kids" are present, they are friendly, respectful, and quiet.

And, when they're not present it's because they're reading, or working on school projects, or maybe making themselves better citizens.

Clearly, they are not del Fuegos.

When the del Fuego children were quiet it was usually because they were plotting and scheming some nefarious activity. 

Often it meant that something was already on fire.
Which is why "The Source of the Trouble" kept the bail bondsman on speed dial.

Many is the time, that realizing the little piratas had been,
"Quiet. Too Quiet." for too long, TSofT came barrelling into the back room of our house wearing full HazMat gear and carrying a fire extinguisher.

IN MY DEFENSE,
A. She only had to USE the fire extinguisher once.
B. Children's toys contain alot of Chinese lead nowadays and are much, MUCH harder to burn, (tested), and
C. When you give a young pirata an Evil Knievel action figure, complete with Rocket Powered Harley-Davidson motorcycle AND the accessory RV/Towing Van with ALL the tools AND the ramps, you sort of HAVE to expect that at SOME point, that Evil Knievel action figure is going to jump 

"THE FLAMES OF DOOM!!!! 

(patent pending).
So, really, it's kinda "The Source of the Trouble's" fault that the closet got a little singed.
And, when you think about it, the house on Ave J was made of very durable and EXTREMELY flame retardant concrete blocks and therefore, very unlikely to burn down.

(Completely anyhow.)
In retrospect, being punished AT ALL for what amounted to a slight whiff of burning plastic and a black ring on the tile seems a bit excessive.
(Note to parents: Hot Wheels track REALLY, REALLY hurts.)

But the point is this: I had a great visit with Cousin Anne and Cousin Hubby Jerry and "the kids", who, to the best of my knowledge almost never burn down their parents' closets and I hope to be seeing then again soon!


I wonder what ever happened to that Evil Knievel doll?




Posted by Joey Rodriguez at 8:45 AM