I have come to really enjoy writing "wacky" letters to people.
The more bizarre and overly confessional they are, the more I enjoy writing them.
What?
No, I don't think so.
Oh, please.
Just read the letter.
Lets not make it a life lesson here people.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Dear Warby Parker,
Is your tortoise shell monocle available with a prescription lens?
I just need a 1.75 reading lens if that's available.
Thank you,
El Pinche Pirata del Fuego
_________________________________________________________________________________
From: Warby Parker [mailto:help@warbyparker.com]
Sent: Wednesday, March 27, 2013 12:42 PM
To: elpinchepirata.blogspot.com
Subject: Prescription or Lenses
Hey there Pinche'r -
Thanks for your email - and your interest in Warby Parker!
We can absolutely fill our monocle with a +1.75 reading lens.
Here’s how to do it:
1) Head to the monocle page and click "add to cart".
2) Navigate to your shopping cart, making sure that your desired frame has been added, and proceed to checkout.
3) Here you’ll be prompted to let us know if you'd like your glasses for reading. After selecting this option, you'll be able to enter in the magnification power you'd like for your readers—and our lab will take care of the rest.
That’s it!
Easy as pie.
Let me know if I can answer any more questions—I’m here to help. Can’t wait to get you in a pair of Warby Parkers!
Best,
Alexa
_________________________________________________________________________________
Alexa,
Excellent!
Please send one asap!
P.S. How much would it cost to ship overnight to an undisclosed location?
Thank you,
El Pinche Pirata del Fuego
__________________________________________________________________________________
Hi Pinche'r -
Your order (no. 100852026) has been received. Your glasses will ship within seven to ten business days*:
Anti-Reflective Polycarbonate Lenses
1001_1001_NIL
Colonel Monocle Whiskey Tortoise
0131_0200_OPKTotal:
$50.00
Where your order is being shipped:
El Pinche Pirata del Fuego,
Barbary Coast
(location confidential)
__________________________________________________________________________________
Hi Alexa/Warby Parker Customer Service Representative:
(assuming you are not a robot)
While not necessary to this order, I feel that I should defend that purchase by saying:
A.) I am not a hipster.
2) I lost the use of my right eye to brain cancer several years ago.
Whew.
That takes a lot of my chest.
God help me if I'm ever confused with a hipster.
Thanks for listening, Alexa.
It's really sweet of you.
Annnnyhooo,
The monocle came thru just fine, however, it's a bit too large in diameter to stay put and I find it tedious to hold it in place for more than a second or so, which defeats the whole purpose, if ya' know what I mean.
So, I would like to exchange the monocle for one in a smaller diameter if possible.
___________________________________________________________________________________
(but if you are a robot then 1000111100011110000000101010101010000),
I recently purchased your Warby Parker Colonel Monocle.
I recently purchased your Warby Parker Colonel Monocle.
While not necessary to this order, I feel that I should defend that purchase by saying:
A.) I am not a hipster.
2) I lost the use of my right eye to brain cancer several years ago.
Whew.
That takes a lot of my chest.
God help me if I'm ever confused with a hipster.
Having the big "C" is tough, but being accused of being a hipster might actually kill me.
Thanks for listening, Alexa.
It's really sweet of you.
Annnnyhooo,
The monocle came thru just fine, however, it's a bit too large in diameter to stay put and I find it tedious to hold it in place for more than a second or so, which defeats the whole purpose, if ya' know what I mean.
So, I would like to exchange the monocle for one in a smaller diameter if possible.
I would reckon that a 1/4" smaller would do.
In lieu of that, I would like to return the monocle for a refund - although I am willing to consider baked goods instead of cash.
Do you guys make cupcakes?
In lieu of that, I would like to return the monocle for a refund - although I am willing to consider baked goods instead of cash.
Do you guys make cupcakes?
You mentioned pie in your previous email.
I could really go for a cupcake right now.
Ok.
That'll do for now.
Great to talk to you, Alexa.
Sooooo, by the by, I'll be having a drink at The Family Dog tonight, if you happen to be in the neighborhood………
Invoice attached for reference :
Sincerely,
Your friend and mine,
I could really go for a cupcake right now.
Ok.
That'll do for now.
Great to talk to you, Alexa.
Sooooo, by the by, I'll be having a drink at The Family Dog tonight, if you happen to be in the neighborhood………
Invoice attached for reference :
Sincerely,
Your friend and mine,
El Pinche Pirata del Fuego
___________________________________________________________________________________
AVAILABLE COLORS:
WIDTH:
Wide
COLOR:
Whiskey Tortoise
MEASUREMENTS:
3.7 Furlongs
SEE THESE FRAMES IN ACTION:
DESCRIPTION:
Crafted in a perfect circle with just the right amount of grip and give, our Colonel monocle is the perfect accessory for budding robber barons, post-colonial tyrants and super villains.
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